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Apart from questions of attraction and chemistry, which are not insignificant, the Bible articulates some roles for wives and husbands.A husband ought to protect and provide for his wife (Ephesians –29).The qualifications are wonderfully clear and simple: (1) they must believe your God (2 Corinthians ) and (2) they must be of the opposite sex (Genesis –24; Matthew 19:4–6; Ephesians –32).Now undeniably there will be more involved in your discernment while dating.But God had much more in mind with romance than orgasms or even procreation, and so should we. When people in the world are expecting less and less of each other in dating, God isn’t.

Girls, stop expecting guys to make any formal attempt at winning your affections.

Nothing in my life and faith has been more confusing and spiritually hazardous than my pursuit of marriage. Maybe you’ve wanted the relationship or liked the guy or girl, and you’ve never had the chance.

From far too young, I longed for the affection, safety, and intimacy I anticipated with a wife. I experimented too much with our hearts and allowed things to go too far. And now my singleness is a regular reminder that I messed up, missed opportunities, or did it wrong. Maybe all the suggestions and advice you’ve collected has become a confusing mess of good-intentioned contradictions and ambiguity.

Sadly, my immature and unhealthy desires predictably did much more harm than good. Maybe dating has been hard for you too, for these reasons or others. It’s enough to leave you like an eight-year-old, asking, “Mom, where do weddings come from?

” The vision of marriage we see in God’s word — the beautiful, radical display of God’s infinite, persevering love for sinners — makes it worth it to date, and date well.

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