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*SWOON* I was over the moon about it, but also immensely terrified.There was approximately 3 days in between him asking me to chill and the day we agreed to chill on.I wish I could have avoided talking about the least-cute-of-all bodily functions, but the reality is that it happens- and it is .Although anxiety is a mental illness, it can have some really physical symptoms.
It has been a journey, but as I look back on my long-term adventure with social anxiety, I realize that I ended up in a lot of weird situations because of it.I am all about the 'Don't Worry Be Happy' vibes, but anxiety happens whether you are completely aware of it or not.It may seem that one could avoid these overwhelming feelings but that is simply not true.I knew that I could just straight up cancel on him, never speak to him again and move to another continent, but I also knew that I genuinely wanted to do this, and that somewhere really deep down this would be good for me.I was no longer hopeful that he would kiss me, I was just hopeful that I wouldn't vomit whilst in his presence.
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The culture is becoming this weird limbo where it's super uncool to express any sort of feeling towards another human being, but really deep down all of us have all of the feels.