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A few months ago I wrote article about my past struggles with jealousy problems in my relationship.
My motive was to share my story in an effort to spare other people the pain that is associated with jealousy.
If you are able to understand their perspective, it can help the jealousy go away.
↑ Back to Top ↑ Your imagination is your worst enemy.
Your upbringing can highly influence your view on sex.
The way you were taught about sex by your parents, siblings, extended family, teachers and friends influences how you view sex as an adult.
I can guarantee you that whatever you are imagining as what happened is not what happened.
Most people tend to take their own experiences and project them onto their partner.
The worst thing you can do is tell your partner that they’ve cheated on you because they’ve been with other people.
It is influenced by an animal instinct: the act of sexual intercourse itself. It takes a lot of work on your part to understand your partner and accept their past. Once you are over your jealousy feelings, it takes a lot of time to heal the wounds that were caused by the jealousy in the first place.
If you take away all of the emotions, love, feelings and friendship from sex, you are left with just the act of sex. ↑ Back to Top ↑ There are numerous reasons why people become jealous in relationships.
What you need to identify is whether you are jealous of the act of sex itself, or the emotions tied in with it, or both. The top factors I have encountered are influences from virginity, religion, upbringing (how you were raised), cultural view of sex and societal view of sex.
Are you jealous of past relationships, casual hookups, or both? A virgin may become very jealous over a partner’s past because they feel that if they are a virgin, their partner should be one too, and anything less is unacceptable.
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Meaning, there is nothing odd about casual sexual relationships. Once you figure out what is influencing your jealousy, you can figure out how to deal with it. Do not accuse them of anything, and be sure to use personal pronouns (such as ‘I’ or ‘me’) to explain how you feel rather then pointing the finger at them (using words such as ‘you’).